Stinkmeaner Strikes Back/Transcript
Riley:'Leopard print's all I could find.gives Robert the speedo'' 'Robert:'Oh, man!['Robert takes off his underwear, exposing his wrinkled balls and dick to his grandsons, although it is exposed off-screen. Huey covers himself and Riley leaves gagging.]' '''Robert:'Damn, these things are tight, What about Stinkmeaner? Huey:'He was in hell, and he was coming back to get us. 'Robert:'Stinkmeaner? Don't be crazy. '''Riley:the bathroomStinkmeaner. You mean that blind old man that Granddad killed for no reason? '''Robert:RileyNo reason?! That man was a psycho. He almost killed your granddady.'Riley:'He was blind. You killed a blind old man. '''Robert:'Colonel Stinkmeaner was a menace and I sent him to hell were he belongs.'''Riley:jokingly''Yeah, Granddad real tough with the handicapped. He probably gonna beat up some retarded kids next.leaves, chuckling'' Robert:Riley''Yeah, this retarded man gonna whip your little ass, that's what he's gonna do. Wait. You know what I meant. What?to Huey Oh, yeah, your dream. Look, boy, Stinkmeaner ain't coming back. He can't hurt you or me or any of us. Okay? Now, let's get one more picture. ''[he sats down on the floor, yawning, ready for another picture. At the courthouse, Tom arrives, happily looking for a spot to park his car] Huey:voicerSome people are scared of zombies or vampires, but the things that scare black people the most are niggas and nigga moments. Tom DuBois was as far from a nigga as a black man could be. Stinkmeaner knew that every black man's spirit is weakend during a nigga moment. young black man steals Tom's parking space, upsetting tom Tom:'What the..? Oh, come on, you n-- nincompoop. You can't do that! Hey! Come on.man walks out'' '''Huey:narrorating''Nigga moments can happen to any black man at any time.walks out of his car.'' Tom:the man''Hey! That was my space! I had my blinker on and everything?[the man turns around'' Young Black Man:yelling Fuck you, punk-ass, boushy-ass nigga. I'll beat your motherfucking sadiddy ass, nigga. Don't ever try holler at me, nigga. Fuck with me, nigga, I'll be done popping the trunk out of your bitch ass, nigga. Get my motherfucking Uzi.furious, is then possessed, only by Stinkmeaner Tom:'''What did you say, nigga? '''Young Black Man:'You know what, motherfucker? Eat a dick, nigga. I'm tired of this, motherfucker.then dropkicks the man in which Stinkmeaner did in the same'' style, including slow-motion ''Tom:Oh, yeah! Look'' at you! You was popping all that good shit a second ago. Then you got kicked in your chest! You eat a dick, nigga! You eat a dick!returns back to normal 'Tom:'O-Oh, my god! Sir, are you okay? Who did this to you? What did he look like?man is uttering''Like? Did anyone see who accosted this man. ''[at the Freemans, Robert and Riley are checking MySpace] ''Robert:I got a date?'' I can't believe it. 'Riley:'Of course you got a date, Granddad. After everything on your page is a lie. 'Robert:'No, it is not.fake pictures are shown 'Riley:'Granddad, you don't skydive, you're not Brazilian, and you never was a member of G-Unit. '''Robert:Riley''Mind your damn business. '''Riley:continues''And she's probably a man. '''Robert:Riley''Shut up! ''courthouse, a trial is here White Attorney:[to the elderly woman in the stand seat]So Mrs. Wong, ''#1: Mrs. Wong is arguing with a black man and she pulls him out.''There you were, not carjacking Mr. Fitzmalley, beating him senseless with a 9-Iron''prepares to beat the man with a 9-Iron, stealing his wallettakes the man's wallet in the process, and driving his car into the hosiery section of the JCPennythen crashes into JCPenny''. Mrs. Wong:'Correct. '''White Attorney:'I have no further questions.walks up 'Tom:'Now, Mrs. Wong, let me ask you a question.again possesses Tom '''Tom:Mrs. Wong''What's good, nigga?!realizes this, gasps, and covers his mouth, much to the'' crowd's suprise Black Judge:'Excuse me, Mr. Dubois? '''Tom:chucklesWell, I said uh...again What's really good?in the court begins chuckling'' Black''' '''''Judge:his gavelIs there something really good you'd like to share Mr. Dubois.possesses Tom again'' Tom:the judge''Fuck your court, nigga!in the court are shocked'' Black Judge:angered''Mr. Dubois! '''Tom:on tableFuck your court, nigga! Fuck your court!regains control and he runs out immediately'' '''Tom:possessed ''Lady Liberty got balls. the bathroom for a gasp and when he'' looks into a mirror, he sees Stinkmeaner in the mirror Stinkmeaner:What's good, nigga?!''screams and leaves. At the hill, Huey is continuing having nightmares ''Huey:voice-over Meanwhile, I couldn't shake the feeling that an evil force was gathering.[Stinkmeaner is still practicing in hell. He turns and to himself]I must be crazy.'Ghostface Killah:Nah,'' you ain't crazy.appears, as a ghost Stinkmeaner's coming back. '''Huey:Ghostface Killah''But Stinkmeaner's dead. '''Ghostface Killah:'What you gonna tell me? Ghost don't exist? What the fuck do I look like to you? Huey:'Ghostface Killah ain't even dead. '''Ghostface Killah:'You say what you want that old crazy goofy looking motherfucker is coming back. Your granddad's nigga moment ain't dead yet. 'Huey:'Well, what am I supposed to do? If death can't stop Stinkmeaner, what can? 'Ghostface Killah:'Think about it? Peace.[Ghostface Killah disappears as Huey begins to think about what could stop Stinkmeaner's evil spirit. At the house, Robert begins playing lounge music and throwing flowers in the air around the house] ''Huey:the houseLook, Granddad, I'm really worried about...pushes him Robert:'Watch it, boy. Don't step on my roses. '''Huey:'Then why you putting them on the floor? Anyway, I know this gonna sound crazy, but I really think Stinkmeaner is... 'Robert:'Oh, hush boy. I ain't got time for all of that. Now, it's date night and you know the rules. Now, you get in that room. I don't care if you hear screams or feel the house shake like an earthquake. You don't leave. Now, get![At the DuBois residence, Sara is cooking dinner as Tom arrives]Tom:'Honey? I'm home.'' Sara:'Oh, hey honey.''the two hug, it reveals Tom's possesed face ''Tom:'Oh, yeah. I might want to have sexual relations. '''Sara:happilyTom, what's gotten into you? '''Tom:'The same thing that's about to get into you.[Tom carries Sara upstairs to have sex. Tom and Sara begins having sex, which is off-screen, and is heard outside of the DuBois house] Tom:off-screenOh, yeah! I'm gonna make it do what it do?![At the Freemans, Robert is shown putting shave cream on his face and shaves himself, using hair gel, and brush his hair with a cone, only on the toilet naked, but has a laptop on his lap and his speedo on his ankle. Tom comes in, dragging an axe] Robert:Well, I'm in the studio with Snoop Doggy Dogg'' and The Pound tonight.[Tom walks up the stairs. Robert flushes the toilet and his balls are exposed from a front-view of him]But how about tomorrow, cutie pie?[Robert jumps off the toilet when Tom chops through the door] ''Robert:What the...?'' WHO'S OUT THERE? BOYS?! BOYS, HELP ME![Tom reveals his possessed grin to the horrified Robert through the door whole, referencing The Shining] ''Tom:I'm ba-a-ack, Nigga! ''screams and the screen fades black. Later, Tom is still chopping through the door. ''Robert:TomWhat the fuck is wrong with you? Tom! Oh, lordy! No! WHAT THE HELL?! TOM! WHAT'S GOING ON? TOM, GO AWAY! I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE![Huey notices the sound while Riley is on the computer from their room] Huey:Did you hear that?'' ''Riley:HueyMan, I can't hear nothing over Granddad's gay-ass music. Look out. New message. Oh, man. It's an old dude with his shirt off. Wait. That's Granddad. Eww, he in the bathroom. Probably just ran out of toilet paper again. I ain't getting it for him, neither. Nope. Huey:'Why would he send us a message from...pushes Riley'' 'Riley:'Hey!the bathroom, Robert is trying to pull his purple speedo up 'Robert:'What the hell? TOM! TOM, WHAT'S GOING ON? [Tom comes and he tries to chop Robert but Robert narrowly escapes as Tom had hit his computer] Oh, my goodness! THE MAN IS CRAZY!hops to go downstairs. OH, OH! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? OH, HELP ME SON. HELP ME! 'Huey: '''Come on!and Riley leaves their room'' 'Robert: '''Oh, some black people are crazy. '''Tom:'Oh, yeah! Here comes some pain![Tom throws the ax at Robert but Robert falls down when he tripped on the stairs since his speedo at his ankles. He rolls down the stairs and he soon gets up, managing to pull his speedo up] ''Robert:Goodness gracious! Tom, what's wrong with you?'' You on that stuff? Snap out of it, Tom. Cocaine's a hell of a drug 'Tom:'You don't remember me?! You don't remember my name?![he punches Robert in the face, ricocheting him]. What's my name, nigga? ''Robert and kicks him. ''UH, MY NAME? MY MOMMADY NAME ME-AAAHH! WHAT'S MY NAME, NIGGA? WHAT'S MY NAME? '''Huey:off-screen''Stinkmeaner. ''and Riley are behind StinkmeanerTom:'''Ding! Ding! Ding! That's right, Nigga!. '''Riley:suprised ''Mr. Dubois. '''Huey:'I don't know how you got here, Stinkmeaner, but you're going back to hell. Tom:'Oh, yeah! I'm going back, and I'm taking y'all with me in the first-class cabin on the ass-whupping express. All aboard!train bellWhoo-Whoo! ''['Huey passes his grandfather his belt and the Freemans gathers around Stinkmeaner.]'' Oh, yeah! You're gonna'' get that ass whoop. [a shot of Huey and a shot of Tom] Bring it on, Huey! ''then kicks at Tom and they exchange kicks, which they both dodge and block until Huey tries to tackle Tom and he kicks Huey. Robert comes up whipping his belt and Tom punches him back forward. Huey comes up again and Tom performs a triple block into Huey's face, causing Huey to fall down. Riley tries to punch Tom but Tom blocks his throws and punches him in the stomach ''Come on, come on! ''comes up and delivers more impressive moves and Riley comes up again. Tom punches Riley in the face and blocks Huey's hits. Robert comes up and Tom kicks hard in the face and kicks him very hard when Huey comes up. Tom tries to hit Huey but Huey sucessfully dodges by jumping above Tom into behind him. Tom tries to hit him some more until he is able to kick him up in the air. Robert's handles Tom's wrist with his belt and he struggles, Tom pulls him and punches him hard enough to ricochet him into the living room ''Alright. here we go. [he slap-chops Huey in the back of the neck]. Is that all you got.laughs Get up. Get your balls up, nigga. [Huey and Robert nods each other "yes" and Huey approaches Tom trying to kick him but Tom punches him, knocking him down. Robert is able to pull Tom down and he tries to strangle him.] ''Robert: Got you'' now? 'Tom: '''Get off, me. Bitch-head! Faggot-ass. ''[he gains the upper hand and tries to strangle Robert. Riley comes from behind and hits Tom with a lamp, shattering it into pieces.] ''Robert: Dammit, boy. Do you know how that lamp'' cost? grabs a vase ''Not the vase. '''Tom: '''You've beat me in the parking lot, huh. ''hits Tom with the vase ''Uh, I want my parking space. ''grabs a Chinese ganza 'Robert: '''Boy, not the ganza. It's a collectable. ''[Riley hits Tom with the ganza, finally knocking him out.]Riley:'That's what'' you get...motherfucker! Punching me in my stomach.[The Freemans are looking at Tom, who is now tied onto Riley's bed]Riley:Why we got to'' put the nigga in my bed?'Robert:'What the hell got into Tom?'Huey:'He's possessed by the ghost of Stinkmeaner. Remember the dream I had?'Robert:'Boy, don't nobody listen to you.'Riley:'My bed ain't the only bed up in here.'Robert:'Should we take him to the doctor?'Riley:'What if he pees in the bed? Or vomits? Or shoots a dookie?'Robert:'Oh, lordy, No. My date.'Huey:'Granddad. Tom is possessed by an evil spirit and just tried to kill us. Lives are at stake. [Robert ignores this and leaves]Robert:'Coming! is disappointed. Robert, now in his shirt, rushes down the stairs to the door. He opens it to find his date ''Well, hello, cutie pie. [Robert's date looks down to see Robert still wearing his speedo]Robert's Date:'Well,'' hello.[she chuckles. Robert smiles in embarrassment. Now, he is in his pants and sitting at the table with his date]Robert:'Uh, sorry about earlier. I was rushing.'Robert's Date:'I think men who are comfortable with'' their bodies are very sexy, especially men with big, round bellies.'Robert: '''Really.'Robert's Date:'And I like to cook...mostly pork. I like to clean, too.'Robert: 'Wow. You're not a man, are you.'Robert's Date:laughs No? ''[The two Freeman brothers are taping Tom even more. Tom then wakes up.] Tom:ROBERT'' FREEMAN! YOU A BITCH NIGGA! WHERE ARE You Robert!?1 'Robert's Date:'Who is that? 'Granddad:'I don't hear anything. [he grabs wine and pours it into a glass nervously. The boys' room is now a mess and stuff flies around the room as Riley has a pillow on Tom's face as he and Huey struggles]Riley:'Ain't this a bitch? We got a possessed nigga up'' here, and Granddad's worried about his date.'''Tom:breaks one of the handcuffs loose Ha! Get off me!the pillow off his face You got a date, Robert! Did you tell her that you get two sets of genitals, a vagina and a coochie?! Oh that's a conjuction!'Robert's Date:What is going on?'Robert:'Oh, that? That's just the television. BOYS! Turn the television down!'Robert's Date:'My friends warned me that there were weirdos on MySpace!'Robert:'Wait! No! That's just the TV!'Robert's Date:'It's not the fact that ypu obviously have a man possessed by an evil spirit strapped to a bed upstairs.'Robert:'It's not?'Robert's Date:'No! It's the face that you lied about it.[Robert's Date leaves, which results in Robert getting extremely angry. In the boys' room, Robert tries to call an excorcist but a voice-over is heard from the phone.]Robert:'Damn, there's got be somebody we can call for an'' excorcism.Tom:'You is a bitch! ''[In a scene referencing The Excorcist, the excorcist arrives in front of the Freemans' house and Robert opens the door, only to reveal that the excorcist is Uncle Ruckus.]Uncle Ruckus:'May'' white God bless you, Robert. I came as fast as I could.Huey:sarcastically ''So, this is the plan. Uncle Ruckus.'Uncle Ruckus:Let's get this party started.'''Tom:off-screen ''YOU GOT BAD CREDIT, ROBERT!'Uncle Ruckus: Removing an evil nigga spirit from a negro is as hard as removing the stink of a hunk of shit. We must use these tools that the great god has given us to fight niggas..a whip, a noose, a nightstick, a branding iron. These things strike fear into a nigga's heart. A job application.[walking upstairs with the Freemans] Avoid conversation with the nigga. The nigga will lie. The nigga will make excuses. He will use words he don't really know. If he gets really desperate, he may start to rap or dance. ''approaches the boys' doorTom:off-screen You all testicles and no shaft. What happened to your shaft, Robert?!'Uncle Ruckus:'''Oh, yeah. There's powerful niggatry at work here. ''Ruckus opens the doorTom:'Who in the hell are you? Uncle Ruckus:'Nigga, my name is Reverend Father Uncle Ruckus, no relation. In the name of white Jesus and all great white men who have come thereafter, I command thy black nigga soul back to the depths of hell!'Tom:laughs ''Is that all you got, nigga?'Uncle Ruckus:Oh, no, nigga. That's just the tip of this iceberg. Read, nigga, read! ''bed then rises up in the air and goes downUncle Ruckus:'Now, Robert! Now! Just hit him with anything! Come on! Everybody, join in! Use your powerful hand. Let's whup this nigga's ass! Repeat after me with the holy phrase, "Nigga, get your black ass out of here!" TomRobert: 'Nigga, get your black out of here! ''[whips Tom with his belt. Everyone says the same phrase, except Huey as he watches, and Riley grabs the nightstick and hits Tom with Uncle Ruckus and Robert.]Uncle Ruckus: '''Keep going. all continueHuey: 'This isn't excorcism. It's a beating. ''[he dodges from a lamp flying around]Uncle Ruckus: '''Just very little different.Tom:'''Oh, you niggas ain't shit. Your mother ain't shit. ''sighsHuey:voice-over Several hours later, the excorcism of Tom DuBois had made no recognizable progress.'Robert:'Is the nigga still in him?'Uncle Ruckus:'As long as he's black and breathing, he's got nigga in him? ''[Tom laughs evilly until Uncle Ruckus hits him in the mouth.]Ghostface Killah:'What'' the fuck is wrong with you, Huey? You retarded or some shit.ghost appears ''You gonna beat the man's brains in, and what you gonna say to the cops? "Sorry, officer, we killed the nigga cause he an evil spirit?" '''Huey:'Ghost, it's late. Can you just me what I'm supposed to do so I could go to bed.Ghostface Killah:'''I can't believe you haven't figured this shit out yet. Peace. ''disappearsTom:off-screen You got an imaginary friend?'Huey:'Peace. Peace. Stinkmeaner, you hate black people, don't you.'Tom:'I sure do! I mean, I hate everyone in general, but black people especially.'Huey:'And, Ruckus, you hate black people, too.'Uncle Ruckus:'I wouldn't exactly call them people, but yeah. Yes, I have a deep distaste for negroes. '''Huey:'Right, And, Stinkmeaner, I bet you hate rap music. 'Tom:'If you can call that old stinky-booty gorilla noise "music". Uncle Ruckus:laughs Stinky-Booty. I must say that's a brilliant observation, Meaner. '''Huey:voice-over ''I have forgotten a nigga moment cannot be resolved through violence. But where there's harmony a peace...a nigga moment cannot exiist. ''[Tom continues to laugh until he feels something] Tom: Huh,'' what's happening? No, you tricked me. [a strobe comes through Tom's eyes, mouth, and ears.] ''Huey: A nigga'' moment connect exist. [the strobe becomes larger, breaking the windows.] ''Tom: No, you'' tricked me. I'm gonna eventually get you, Robert. You used me, nigga! [a visual effect happens when Stinkmeaner is briefly seen on Tom's head. His spirit then flies out of Tom's body. Then, Riley and Robert both sigh. The night fades to morning. Tom, with some bruises on his face, then wakes up, yawning.] Hey, guys. What I'm doing here? ''Uncle Ruckus:'Well, another nigga successfully excorcised and/or beaten. I'll send you an invoice, Robert. '''Granddad:Tom Possessed or not, you gonna fix my damn house or you gonna have another demon. It's gonna be my foot up your ass. '''Tom:'Why am I in Riley's bed? 'Riley:'You know, that's a real good question. Why are you in my bed? All the beds in this house and I got the possessed nigga in my bed. Ain't this a bitch? Some old bullshit. episode ends here. It is unknown why the page came out like this but this will be continued in construction. Category:Stubs Category:Transcript